The Price of Life
by Blue Taboo
Summary: The mistress of original ideas returns! Chapter 5 is up!!! Shinji and Asuka...and their unlikely companion learn to love and survive after the end of the world.
1. Default Chapter

You Wish Productions presents...

The Price of Life- I finally churned out an "After 3I" fic! Not sure quite where I want to go with it, but if you want me to continue, I can think of something. Probably going to turn out A/S...though there is some mention of possible past R/S. Please read and review.

By: Blue Taboo

Your reviews, as always, are my motivation for continuing. I'll warn you now that there is a small rant at the bottom of this fic and unless you are willing to admit that there is some sense to it, then don't read it.

On with the fic!

Walking...walking...walking...

That's all he'd been doing for three days. Just walking towards that red speck in the distance, following the footprints where and when he could. After all, there was no one else left to leave footprints and he couldn't bring himself to do anything else. Regret settled into the mind of Ikari Shinji. Regret at his decision and lack of decision...

------

"I feel sick..."

The words were sick like death's chill touch and true to the two small beings that were left as pitiful reminders of the human race. The world around them was dead, consisting only of wreckage and rubble. There were probably a few animal and plants that survived, but it was hardly a Garden of Eden, no fitting place for a new Genesis.

And here lay Adam, crying over a shell-shocked Eve. Her words weren't unjustified. For the first time in what seemed like eternity, Shinji found himself identifying with Asuka once again. It was what had first kept from hating her and her insults...her abuse. She was an Eva pilot like him with no real family to care for her, few friends, and many problems, though she'd never admit to any of it. Bold and stubborn, she went on as if it didn't hurt, just like she was supposed to, but it hurt her, just as bad as it hurt him. There...as they were lying on the beach after the world had ended around them...he felt just as sick. Even if he was physically sound, all Shinji Ikari wanted to do was throw up.

"Of all people," she asked slowly, not threatening like her companion would expect, but just curious, "Why you? Why am I stuck with you?"

"I-I don't know," he responded through tears that refused to stop...less embarrassing alternatives to retching.

"Maybe because there was no one else..."

"No one else who could?"

He realized there was no reason for him to hold back. After all, they as well be honest with each other. They were the only two people left on Earth, as far as they could see. No matter what past qualms they may have had, they had to start a new...even though one boy didn't really want to. "Because there was no one else I wanted..."

"What about Rei? I'm sure she would've been just as good..." There was no emotion in what she said, none of her former fiery possessiveness and elitist attitudes. She did a frightening emulation of the very girl she was talking about.

He lifted himself to his knees and sat above her as she lay unmoving on the ground. "Towards the end, when you were gone, I found out some things about Rei that were...disturbing. Even with all that went on during the Third Impact I just couldn't get over them. Besides, the only Rei that I would've wanted died during the 16th Angel's attack."

Asuka laughed a hollow laugh, a shadow of her former enjoyment, as if to mock its memory. "I never did believe that she lived...She didn't live much to begin with anyway..."

They paused, sitting perfectly still, scarcely daring to breathe as if the air around them were too precious to waste. In truth, that's what it was like. They had been given a second chance at life...a second chance at mankind and they felt as if they were wasting every minute of it, every breath of air. Two who had wanted to die would now pay the price of life.

"Did you love her, Shinji?" the redhead inquired, still quiet and in the same position she had been in since she had uttered the first words of the new world.

He hesitated, only for a moment, fearing the former Asuka's wrath, but he put it aside. "I think I did at one point...maybe just for a moment. She did everything she could for me..."

"Like the mother you never had...But what about Misato?"

"She..." he paused, trying to think of a good explanation for the confusion that radiated from the Major, "She wasn't enough...I hate to say it, since she did try, but that was all I could see, her trying. She never succeeded, even when I thought she did. If she had, then she'd still be here..."

"I saw," this came with more feeling and all the sudden her near-death-like features started to stir as if from a long sleep, and Asuka propped herself up onto her elbows. "She died for you too...Did you love her?"

"She loved me, but she wanted me to be a man and a boy at the same time. I don't think I ever really appreciated her as much as I should have. She was like a quirky older sister at best, nothing more..."

"Don't feel bad. Nobody appreciated her...not even Kaji. Funny, I'd never speak against him before, but now that he's gone I realize how stupid I was. You still haven't fully answered my question, Shinji..."

All the sudden the fears of the old Asuka came back, even though this one seemed even slightly concerned about how he felt, she was getting that old edge back... "W-why you?"

She nodded, looking out over the sea of LCL, her eyes carefully avoiding the blasphemous figures of what had once been the MP Evas. 

"You were like me. You had the same basic problems...the same pain, though you'd never share it with anyone. Did you ever?" he questioned, trying to get her gaze back.

"With Hikari...but she didn't understand..." She refused to meet his eyes.

"That's because she's not like us..."

"And you think you could understand?" It was almost angry, but she couldn't seem to muster the strength to make it back to the tone she had always taken.

"I hoped I could...I always did. I hoped you could too."

She opened her mouth to say something but shut it and then, finally, after a long pause, she asked, "Did you love me?"

"Enough to die for you. You were the only one I would do the favor that so may others did for me...But I never had the chance..."

She looked directly into his eyes and he noted with a bit of disappointment that the fire was gone once more.

"Goodbye, Shinji..." she whispered as she suddenly stood. With one last look from her dead eyes, she ran, despite her injuries, down the beach as fast as she could...

-----

And ever since then he had followed. It seemed that nothing would ever be the same...though there was never much hope for it in the first place. He had meant what he'd said and had expected her to slap him, call him a pervert, or an idiot, but nothing of that sort had been her reaction. She had just run away...like he did. In that they were even more alike now. He had sat there on his knees in shock for a few minutes, wondering why she had run from him just when he told her everything. Then he realized he needed no explanation of his own, but he didn't want to be alone. That was why he'd chosen her. Everyone else couldn't relate, but she could...if she only tried...

He followed at a distance, at first because that was as fast as he could go, but by the dawn of the second day, he kept his distance personally, wanting her to come to him. He was like Rei in that he had never really demanded anything of anyone before, not even kindness, but now he was in need of it more than ever and there was only one person that could provide...if she just would. His demand was simple and he kept just far enough behind so that she could see he was following. He knew not of where she was trying to get to. They passed towns that had gone into rubble and rot where they looted stores with broken windows for any salvageable food, knowing their owners wouldn't miss it. They slept in old houses, once in the tall grass of a field that some dead farmer had left to itself for the season. He had been planning ahead for a future he wouldn't have, Shinji had thought grimly as he arrived there.

Now it was the morning of the fourth day of her flight and they were getting into more mountainous country, near what had been Tokyo-3, Shinji guessed. He had stopped to rest under the shade of a copse of hardy little trees after Asuka had seemingly chosen the steepest route over a large hill. It was then that he saw the figure still clothed in her red plugsuit start to make her way back towards him. As sudden as a spark turns to a flame a wave of positive emotion such as Shinji hadn't felt in a long time rushed through the boy's veins. Fantasies of what she would say surfaced in his mind, most that would never come true no matter what the circumstances. Maybe she would finally let him in...and he could let her in too...

Once she knew she was in hearing range she called out, "I'm the one who's stupid. We both are..."

That wasn't one of his fantasies...but it was better than some of them...

"Walk with me, baka." It was still a ghost of her former tone, but demanding all the same. Shinji's simple happiness rose and for the first time since the end of the world, he could bring himself to smile with feeling as he ran to join her, despite his weariness. He wouldn't be alone...

"If I can't have you all to myself...I don't want you at all..."

Well, he mused, there's no one to take me from you...

-Blue Taboo-

"In the middle of life, we are in death." Agatha Christie, Ten Little Indians (play, not book).


	2. Like a dog left for dead...

You Wish Productions presents...

The Price of Life

By: Blue Taboo

It didn't take them long to find that which neither of them really wanted to see, but it was too evident to miss. The great shinning city that had once been the capital of Japan, the base of NERV, and the origin of humanity's last hope was now just a giant crater. Actually, crater didn't do the description justice. It was more like a gaping hole with a few wobbling structures on its edge. The whole lead down to the sphere-shaped hollow that had once been the Geofront, or as Shinji later learned, the Black Moon. 

It was afternoon by the time they topped the last hill and came upon the valley. Both Children were quite tired and getting ready to find somewhere to sleep as the sun's rays began to turn everything orange. The redness in the sky had begun to fade and each day it started looking more normal. Shinji was grateful for the change, as slow as it was. He realized that his surroundings were becoming more familiar as they went.

"I've been here before..." he commented softly. The day had been pretty much silent. Conversations were started, but never lasted more than a few sentences. The silence of everything was eerie. Even the ever-present cicadas were gone and their absence was unnerving. Each had counted maybe five or so animals all together in their long hike from the beach, even including birds. The world seemed almost lonely...

"What do you mean?" she asked. Actually, she was still trying to think of a way to explain her rationale for her running off like she did. It was something she couldn't quite put into words...an old stale fear that...no...it'd come if she waited...

"This place, where we are, I've seen it before. It's familiar," he explained.

"We don't even know where we're going or where we started from so how can you know this place?"

"Maybe we'll be able to see if we climb that hill," he suggested as he pointed towards a taller peak to the right of them, one that ended in a cliff and might have once had some crops planted on it. 

She murmured an agreement and they ascended with little difficulty. Asuka didn't seem to be as injured as her bandages told, Shinji observed. Only then did he realize that neither of them had bothered to bathe in the past four days and it was beginning to show, as well as smell, but they wouldn't comment. Things had to settle down a bit more before either one could think about such simple things. 

Shinji was the first to the top. As he saw the view he finally realized why he knew this place, but he didn't bother to share his thoughts, for some things can just go unspoken. Asuka was only a little ways behind and when she saw it, she too was at a lack of words. Tokyo-3 was no more and its ruins had snuck up on both of them. They'd been traveling country roads and small footpaths. The paved roads and highways were nothing but rivers of cracked asphalt that made for slow and painful travel. They had seen no signs, nor met any familiar landmarks until Shinji had said something, and that was just before. Here they were, looking over the rubble of the city that made them and the city that destroyed them. Its destruction was almost justified, yet neither one of them was really glad for it. Sure, this place had held many painful memories, but it had some good points. However, it was a great sight, but neither one of them really wanted to look upon it for too long. 

It was Asuka that advised, "Let's just go, Shinji..."

"I-I want to see just one thing first, then we never have to come back, okay?" he objected.

She looked at him and then back out at the ruins, sighed, and then nodded slowly.

He led the way down the hill again and they picked their way into the valley while the sun began to set, turning the sky to crimson once again, but at least this was a natural color. They eventually entered the city and only then did Asuka understand where it was that the boy was taking them. About two kilometers away stood a structure that both of them knew. It was stout and not very tall compared to the skyscrapers that once stood watchful over the metropolis. They had lived there for nearly a year, after all. What was amazing was the fact that it still looked fairly intact. It was one of the taller structure's left standing and though it was not the tallest, it was still a marvel. 

Shinji stopped and looked at the place he'd called home for only a short part of his life. He'd shared a tiny space with two women, one his age and the other twice his age, but each of them a great person. People he was glad to know...and one of them a person he was glad to have with him. He knew then that things would go slow from now on. They'd have to take it a day at a time, but maybe they could help the world's lonely suffering just a little bit. Maybe he'd once again have time to dream the little and almost petty dreams he had dreamed in that little bedroom of his.

"We can go now," he announced after he had bid his silent goodbye to his old life. 

She nodded, lost in her own memories of better days.

They began to walk away in silence when a small noise sounded from behind them. Shinji was strangely frightened. He didn't know what to expect from this new era of Earth, and he certainly didn't need another human being to deal with, though they could be helpful. He turned around slowly, hoping to find that it was just the wind, even though the valley was never really windy, having the shelter of the mountains to protect it. A patch of white and black fur caught his eye as it flashed back out of sight as soon as it came into it. 

"What was that?" he asked Asuka, who had also turned to face the interruption of her nostalgic moment.

"Not sure...I think it might be a dog."

"How could he have survived, especially here where it all happened?" he questioned in disbelief.

"I don't know. He could've come from somewhere else. Besides...I said I wasn't sure. Let's go see," she suggested as she began to move slowly towards the origin of the brief glimpse of the creature, who she though lay hiding behind a large piece of someone's roof. 

Shinji followed, hoping whatever it was that was hiding was friendly at least. 

Asuka peered over the edge of the piece to find pretty much what she had expected. It was a dog. A skinny thing with patches and dots of black coating his long white hair. She surmised he was probably a mutt, though she didn't claim to be an expert on dogs. She'd never really seen why people were so fond of them anyway, but this one appeared to be nice in temperament, if only a little weary from fatigue and hunger, as they all were. 

"I was right," she announced to Shinji, who was coming up behind her, "Just a dog."

He leaned over to look as well, coming nearly face to face with the large, pleadingly dark eyes of the dog. "He's got a collar..." the boy observed.

Asuka offered her hand to the dog to sniff as she'd seen people do and occasionally done herself. He did so with a little whine and she cautiously patted his head, then reached for the tags, which she read aloud, stumbling a little over the kanji. "Panda. If found call...555-2015. Hmm...I guess that's more original than Spot."

"Hey Panda," Shinji said calmingly to the dog that was obviously more frightened of them than they had ever been of him, "It's all right. We won't hurt you." Once the dog allowed him to pet him Shinji asked, "Is there an address?"

"Nope, just the name and phone number. Why do you ask?"

"I wanted to see if he was from around here...that's all. Looks like he hasn't eaten in a while..."

"What would there be for him to eat? And who would there be to give it to him?" she asked rhetorically, almost getting up to her mocking tone again, but still falling short.

"Still, by the look of him it looks like longer than four days since he's had a good meal. I wonder how long we've been gone..." he mused.

She frowned as she realized his logic. It was a disturbing thought, not knowing how long you'd been asleep or non-existent in the world.

"We should give him something to eat," Shinji proposed.

"And have him following us around for the rest of however long it is we live in this fucked over world?!" She was angry again; the thoughts making her old walls rise up and her tongue sharpen.

"He's got no one else to take care of him...as far as we know..."

"Why do you care so much about a stupid dog? It'd be easier if we just left him to fend for himself."

"He'd probably die though..."

"So? It's just a dog..."

Shinji paused, trying to put into words why his face looked so hurt when she said that. "H-how do you think I felt when you just found me on the beach and left me? He'll follow us anyway, just because he doesn't want to be alone..."

She glared at him and then gave no affirmative or negative as she walked away, leaving the decision to him, though regretting that she couldn't think of a better excuse to leave what would become another burden for them behind. The low blow on her still un-explained actions didn't help either. 

Shinji went to the other side of the rubble and reassured the dog. "Come on, boy. Don't worry about her. She's just like that sometimes. I bet you'd like some food..."

As soon as he finished the last word the dog's trust in him peaked with the promise of a full belly and the animal sprung to his feet, wagging his tail and ready to follow the boy who had promised him a meal. Shinji smiled and scratched Panda's ears. He'd always liked dogs, though he'd never owned one. When he lived at his teacher's, the young couple next door had a little Welsh Corgi and they traveled a lot, so Shinji had been offered the job of dog-sitting many times. He enjoyed the idea of dogs and their unconditional love and friendship...so much easier than dealing with humans...

And so they were now three, or two and a half by Asuka's standards, but she didn't complain when they caught up with her, at least not for a whole ten minutes. Just before they were about to go back up into the hills, they decided to stop for the night at a small store on the very outskirts that was still standing. It was two stories, the first being just a little general store with all that they needed food-wise and more, and the second being a small two bedroom apartment. From some cans and packets that were still sealed and the little stove in the apartment, Shinji managed to make a decent dinner that was well-liked by both his critics, at least he assumed so. Asuka didn't gag of complain and Panda ate it as fast as it was put in front of him. Then came two much needed showers for the humans. After that, they decided to go back down to the store.

"We will be running around, so we're going to need supplies," Asuka said after she had gotten out of the shower, now changed into some men's clothes they had found in the drawers. Shinji had objected at first, but she had pointed out that they never really knew if the guy was going to be coming back anytime soon and if so, he'd be worried about more than a few sets of clothes. 

"But where are we going to?" Shinji wondered aloud at her as he got up from his seat outside the bathroom as he waited his turn.

She paused for a minute and shrugged. "I really don't want to think about it. We'll know when we get there..."

He came to the notion that he really didn't want to either and was content to go searching with her after he had washed and changed into the rather baggy clothes. They first found a few knapsacks, not very big, but good enough to carry about a week's supplies between the two of them. Shinji was able to scout out some water bottles that could be attached to the packs with a little string and did so, giving each of them two one-liter bottles. 

For his pack, there were all the non-perishable food items that Asuka deemed edible, as well as a few small metal bowls and a pan to cook them in. A pocket knife was a welcome editions, as well as a few lighters and match books. They had considered taking an old map, but later deemed that it probably wouldn't be of much use, seeing as how things had changed so much. A little coil of nylon rope was added, just in case, as well as some pens and a few little pads of paper. He added some toiletries and a few other little things to fill it up.

For her there were flashlights and batteries to go with them. Her toiletries took up a great deal more space than his, but no one chose to mention that. She was grateful to find a few pair of flip-flop sandals that were close to her size, one which went on her feet and two which went in the pack. Not the best of hiking shoes, but there wasn't anything else. She was thoughtful enough to stuff in a few medicines, also just in case, as well as some bandages and other first aid things. She wasn't in need of them, though her arm showed a pale scar all the way down and her left eye appeared to be a little more sensitive to the last light of the sun and eventually the beams of the flashlights as night fell. A few magazines as well as a little more food and she too had a full pack. 

After their search, they all went up to the apartment to sleep. Asuka regretted having only inspected one bedroom, for she found a great big hole in the roof of the one she had chosen for the night. This was cause for a great dilemma, since it was either the small bed, or the floor, since a couch appeared to be non-existent and the only other form of seating was the lumpy cushions around the low dining table. 

"I guess I'll sleep on the floor..." Shinji conceded when she told him about the situation.

She said nothing and he didn't move. Her eyes traveled to the wall as she climbed into the bed, almost as if she thought Shinji would just disappear when she got in. He just took it as a silent way of saying. "Hell yeah, you're sleeping on the floor!" and started to get out, but what happened next took him by surprise yet again. 

"Stay..." she said softly, almost as if she was about to cry, in a voice he had only heard from her while she was asleep.

He sat there in shock, half in half out of the sheets.

"I promise I won't leave you alone again. I realize now how you must've felt and...I-I'm sorry. No one should feel like a dog left for dead. It's a horrible feeling...Besides, you chose me, so I have to stay and so do you," she laughed and regained some of her normal volume her voice still unsteady, "But d-don't try anything..."

"All right."

And he didn't. Until sleep took them both of the children lay at the very opposite edges of the full-sized bed. Physical contact was maybe just a little bit far away right now, but it was nice to know that someone was there...that you weren't the last person on the face of the earth...

Panda watched them until he felt the drag of dog-dreams on his eyelids. He was also glad he wasn't alone...

"For every great person, dozens of other people were there to take care of them." - Anonymous

-Blue Taboo-


	3. Simple...

You Wish! Productions presents...

The Price of Life

By: Blue Taboo

Chapter 3

Yeah, now that I've churned out another chapter of Cross (which I will re-format, so stop yelling about your aching eyes!) I can write this in peace, for a little while. Thank you to all the reviewers...you gave some awesome suggestions and I always like to hear them. Criticism is welcome and I'd love for you to pick on me a little more, especially on this one, since I plan to apply myself on it a little more in order to give it the originality all Eva fics deserve. 

So...yeah...wake up time!

Shinji woke from a dreamless sleep...a rare, but pleasant occurrence for him. In the week or so it had been now since the Third Impact, he'd been haunted by its images, as if they weren't enough in happening only once. However, he had been thankful to have had a black, soothing sleep, the kind that restored energy, instead of taking it. Besides him, though still on the very edge of the bed, Asuka was still asleep, her features set in a slight frown, but only that of a person asleep. Shinji had noted in his life, when there were actually other people around, that no one ever smiled in his sleep.

  
The reality was still far from his grasp. Everyone was gone, except him, Asuka, and the dog and possibly including the scattered wildlife that had survived. He didn't know if they would ever come back. 

Misato...Rei...Kensuke...Touji...all gone. His heart wouldn't accept it, and his mind was far from even considering the possibility. He wondered, maybe, if Rei could return at all. Maybe, if she could, so could Kaworu! It was far-fetched, but it was something to hope for. Rei...if she came back, maybe she would be as she was before, or the second one at least. That Rei had been human, but the third...he wasn't quite sure. The journey of the Rei Ayanami he'd known had been for humanity, he'd just never seen it...until she was gone. 

  
And Kaworu...Maybe he would be free of his Angelic bonds, since this had been the end of all ends. It was like the world had purged itself, spitting souls back up as LCL and then allowing them to come back, little by little. Kaworu had a soul, the purest one Shinji had ever known of any creature, maybe...No, he couldn't think of maybes now. It was too early, too unknown. Shinji had always been good at living in the here and now when he didn't want to be hurt by past or future, and that was what he would do.

  
He got up as Asuka began to stir into wakefulness and went into the modest kitchen, where he found Panda asleep on the cool tile. The dog woke, like a light sleeper, as soon as the boy's footsteps echoed on the hard surface and wagged his tail. He ran to the door of the stairs, with Shinji following him, who understood what the action meant. He let the dog out so he could go down into the open shop and outside to do his business. Shinji returned to the kitchen and fished around in the cabinets, finding all that he needed to make a small, mostly instant, but still filling breakfast. 

  
Only when he went to the light the stove and came up without any results, did he realize the natural gas line must've finally run out. They'd lacked electricity, but he was quite amazed by the fact that the stove had still been in working order. There must've been some kind of gas reservoir in the lines, or maybe the supplier had been running on backup generators, but it was gone now. They'd only had running water on a count of the store/home had well water, not city, which had been a lucky break. He put back the rice and soup mix he'd selected and looked for something that didn't require cooking of any kind. He eventually found some cereal, which they'd just have to eat without milk and prepared three bowls, hoping Panda wasn't too picky about his food.

  
He heard Asuka get into the shower and decided to wait for her on breakfast. He went down to the store area and found Panda sniffing around various spilled merchandise. 

  
"Hey boy," he called. The dog came to him and Shinji scratched his ears. The boy got an idea and eventually joined the dog in his digging. He soon found what he was looking for. Again he called for the Panda's attention, this time with a whistle and the shaggy dog's eyes lit up as he gazed upon the tennis ball the boy had found. Shinji threw it out the door and into the broken, dusty street. The dog sprinted after it and his new master couldn't help but smile. This was simple. This was easy. This was what Ikari Shinji had missed most about his life before Eva. This kind of simple joy...it was something hard to come by in the eternal struggle of an adolescent, let alone one who carried the very weight of the world on his shoulders. And as horribly as it had all ended, it was over--for good. 

  
He walked outside to meet the eager animal, ball retrieved. "Good boy," he praised, thinking back to the time when such praise had meant so much to him. No more...It was all back to the simple things now. Just surviving. He threw the ball again, and again, and again--boy and dog both reveling in the pure amusement of it all. However, it couldn't last forever, so when he guessed Asuka would be done with the shower, he didn't throw the ball again, much to Panda's chagrin, but as soon as the word food escaped the boy's lips, the dog understood perfectly.

  
Shinji had been good on his guess. Asuka was just stepping out of the bathroom, looking ridiculous in the oversized clothes she wore, as they returned. 

  
"Good morning," Shinji greeted cautiously, hoping that everything would be okay again...or at least normal.

  
She hesitated, but less than he expected her to. "Uh...yeah. Same to you. Is there any food around here?"

  
They ate pretty much in silence and left all the same. After a few steps outside the store, Shinji stopped, the rest halting with him. 

  
"Well? What is it?" Asuka demanded as she turned around.

  
"Where should we go?" he asked back.

  
"How should I know? Any place but here!"

  
He sighed. "I know that already...but which direction? Do you want to stay by the ocean? Go further inland?"

  
"It doesn't really matter much, does it?"

  
No, no it didn't. It wasn't like there was much of anyone left to see, or much of anywhere left to go, as far as they knew. However, things could change, as Shinji realized only he probably knew. "Let's stick by the coast a little, just so that we're not too far from it, just in case," he suggested.  
"All right. We'll go north then."

  
And they did, leaving the ruined city that should've saved them from this very reality with a few backward glances of longing. There, then, they had had precious routine, even a shot at stability from day to day. Things were predictable. No one had to pick a direction to walk. No one had to scavenge for food. No one had to worry about such basic things. Those were provided with a sickening ease and the complex was left to rule the mind. Somehow, that was better than this. It was less urgent, less important, even if it felt like the most prominent thing in the world at the time. 

  
Now former Pilots Sohryu and Ikari, were left to learn how to survive at the tender age of fifteen. Their friends would've laughed at the idea before, Shinji and Asuka stuck together in a mystery desert wasteland with only each other for company...and a dog. First, Shinji thought Touji would say, they'd fight so much the dog would run away, then, Kensuke would add, they'd fight **_SO_** much that they'd forget about food and Asuka would end up using her demon powers to kill Shinji for meat. How far from it was their situation now...

  
He took comfort in her presence and she in his. With everything that got harder, thousands of other things got easier. There were no appearances to keep up now, and as soon as they were ready, maybe they could be true to each other for once. For now, though, they walked away from the sun...over the mountains...away from the dreary relics of the past. Words were seldom needed and seldom spoken. Shinji took to his and Panda's game again as they walked, now about mid-morning, and threw the ball ahead a ways. Panda would sprint for it, grab it in his jaws, and wait for them to catch up so the ball could be thrown again. He never tired of it. Shinji wordlessly offered the ball to Asuka for one last throw before what they had agreed was near lunch time. Surprisingly, she took it and smiled slightly as the dog jumped all over her when they caught up, his simplicity overwhelming her. 

  
Shinji hadn't seen her smile like that in a long time. It was a rare smile he'd only seen a few times before. Through the static of his comm monitor when he pulled her out of the volcano...When she complemented him on his cello playing...That little look he wasn't supposed to see after she said, "Weren't you going to punish him?"...It was something to be treasured. She caught him looking at her as she took back the ball. Their eyes met, if only for a few moments, but she just refused to acknowledge it and looked away again. He wasn't sure if he should be or not, but Shinji was just a little worried.

  
They walked a little ways more to find shelter from the wind that was kicking up around them, blowing the inescapable dust into their eyes and coating their damp, exposed skin; hot from all the exercise. They slumped down on a small ledge off the mountain path they'd been hiking that had a cliff shooting straight up from it that kept the dust at bay. Shinji broke out some crackers and jerky, as well as some much needed water for lunch. He was more thirsty than hungry and decided to break the stillness of the day as she ate. 

  
"What do you miss the most?" It was a pretty bold question, but he knew it would get her talking again. Even if she was yelling, it would be good to hear her voice.

  
"That's too easy...People..." she told him through a mouthful.

  
"Besides people, what do you miss?"

  
She washed it down and paused for a minute. "I would say Eva, but I finally realized that I hated life with it as much as I hated life without it...but my mother was there..." she trailed off, "Oh! Why should I tell you? You won't understand!"

  
He wanted to. "If it's about your mother, I know. Misato told me after y-you disappeared. And if it's about your mother and Eva, I also know, at least I think I do. I thought my mother was gone too, until the twelfth. I felt her there, in the entry plug, before I-before I couldn't remember anymore. We're very much the same..."

  
"We're very different," she retorted, "You just let yourself be afraid. I fight it!"

  
"But you lost...everybody lost. It wasn't worth anything..." It felt good to let her know how he felt about his decision, but all the emotion came flooding up with the words. Tear stung at his eyes.

  
She stood and looked down at him shamefully. "Of course it was! Are you stupid? Can't you see that it's not over yet! Somehow, you managed to get a brain for a minute and stop all that crazy shit, but you don't even know what you did, Shinji Ikari! If you can't even realize that, for once, you did something good, something you should take pride in, then you truly are a coward. You're afraid to be good!"

  
She was right, he resolved. He nodded and wiped his eyes.

  
"One day, when they all come back, they're gonna congratulate you and you better take it. Congratulations, Baka, you brought the world back the hard way!"

  
He looked up at her, pleading for her to stop. He wished now that he hadn't even started to speak. He couldn't be afraid of this now...it was his decision, as it was his decision for her to be the first one to come back, and stay with him. Her words had cut deep with their truth, and now he felt it was his turn. "I chose you, so why did you run away?"

  
She sunk back down next to him. "To be sure you did the right thing, dummkopf..."

  
"It took you that long?"

  
"You're not one to talk..."

  
The silence returned once again and they resumed eating. Asuka calmly handed a few pieces of jerky to Panda and scratched his ears. He made short work of them and then laid down, his head across her lap. She smiled that beautiful, purely genuine smile again, and this time, she made sure Shinji saw it.

  
"See, boy," he said quietly, even if she still heard, "She can be really nice sometimes."

  
"There's times that require it. After all, we've been given a second chance, we should use it well," she paused for a little while, stroking the dog's dusty fur, then abruptly said, "How about this...No more bullshit, Shinji. That's my first rule for the new world. From now on, you say what you mean, and mean what you say."

  
He nodded. "I think that's fair."

  
"All right, then tell me something true."

  
It had to be said, and since they were bringing up her flight, he didn't stop himself. "When I said I loved you...I meant it and I still mean it."  
She sighed. "When I ran away...I was scared by that, but I can learn to live with it."

  
And then, she gave him the smile, instead of the dog.

  
He returned it with all his heart, knowing that it was pure, and...Simple.

Whoohoo~! And it's in my normal format so you an actaully read it this time! Now for the plug-a-thon! Mark the 17th on your calendars! That's You Wish! Productions first aniversary...and we've gto some great stuff planned for it. More art...special fics...possibly even another CG by yours truly. But, if you don't want to wait that long, check out darkscribes.org's new site design! It's kick ass! And Fanfic Yakuza has also moved to the DS server and gotten a makeover, so don't miss it! Yeah...now we actually plug the next chapter of this fic. Shinji and Asuka stuck all night in a sandstorm! Close spaces, awkward phrases, and of course...FAN SERVICE! I'm done now...

-Blue Taboo-


	4. Through the Hard Times

You Wish! Productions presents…

The Price of Life

Chapter 4: Through the Hard Times

The little trio walked on until the sun began to set, reddening the land once more. They had come to a short stretch of flat land in-between mountain ranges, probably no more than a day's walk across. From there they could see the coast, with its waters still orange and chilling to look upon, knowing that the collective human consciousness still swam in those waves. A consciousness that they had rejected...a consciousness that had given them false dreams of an impossible reality. Shinji only needed one morning to find its utter falsity. He felt so much opportunity there, like one of those "choose your own ending" stories. Never in his life had he had that kind of freedom. He knew that he was creating this, since nothing was limiting him, only expanding his choices. He knew that it was simply not real…just too perfect.

The winds were picking up as the sun went down and the land seemed too open. They found some of what must've been a highway overpass that hadn't been buried by the dusts and sands yet and took refuge under it. In the last hour of their journey to it, it had been very hard to see with all the sand stinging their eyes. Overly large clothes had to be held to bodies and eyes shielded in vain hopes of keep out the tiny grains of dry dirt from entering moist and sensitive eyes. Their sanctuary piece of solid concrete was unique in its vertical structure, for it seemed that nothing could stand up to the fury of the winds and sands of this desert valley. Shinji began to wonder if the whole world was like this. 

"If it's this bad tomorrow I say we just wait," Asuka suggested as she slumped against the slanted concrete that reached height only a little taller than her. 

"Yeah, there's no point in moving in this if we don't have any place to go," Shinji agreed.

They dusted off their garments and supplies, or at least tried, but found it was hardly any use, since the sand had found its way into even the most sheltered places. Panda's black and white fur now had a tint of red from all the sand, as much as he tried to shake it out. He was content to stay in the little protected space, especially after he poked his head back out into the wind a few times. The two humans sat on the soft dust and leaned against their packs for a rest.

"Almost like going to the beach," Asuka mused as she observed their sand-covered state.

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked.

She picked a little handful of sand, relishing in the pleasant feel of it slipping through her fingers. It was nice enough when you could control it. "You know, like when you get out of the water and the sand sticks to you when you lay on it and it's impossible to get off."

"Oh. I guess I wouldn't know. I don't swim."

"Not even once?"

He then remembered the first rule of the new world. "Well, it's more like I can't swim."

She laughed, and he looked away. "You're _fifteen years old and you __still can't swim? Yet you can operate a huge biomechanical robot…Shinji…has anyone ever told you you're weird?" She said it chidingly, hoping to lighten the mood._

"It just never came up, that's all."

"So you never went to the beach when you were a kid?" she inquired, still playing with the sand.

"Once, but I didn't go anywhere near the water. Not that I'm afraid of the water or anything…I just didn't want to," he told her. "You know that feeling you get when you see other people doing something and you just don't feel like it? Besides, I was already interested in building a sand castle."

"I could see that," she laughed, "Little Shinji the architect. If this never happened, I bet you would've gone into something like that."

"Why do you think that?"

"Oh come on! Your math grades were more than good and you could always get the word problems. I could just see you designing new Eva models for NERV when you got too old to pilot. Head Engineer Ikari Shinji. You'd do well as an engineering major…"

He shrugged slightly, noticing that the sun was almost completely gone behind the western mountains they faced, seeing as the wind came off the coast to the east. "Maybe…Hey! I know you went to college and all, but what was your major?"

"They made me do a double major, so I had pretty much no life as a little kid. I did Japanese and Theoretical Physics, nothing that classified under fun or interesting. I didn't have much choice in the matter anyway. My father said that if he paid for it, he'd decide for me, since I was too little. I actually hated college…"

Shinji bit his lip, regretting that he'd even asked. "Oh…I'm sorry I brought it up."

"Don't be stupid. I was the one who brought it up. Besides, that was a long time ago."

"Not really."

"After you've been through what we've been through, Shinji, it's long enough."

"That's true," he paused, "Hey…um…are you hungry?"

"A little. Do we have anything left that we don't have to cook?" she inquired as she began to take a mental inventory.

"I think so. We should've just taken that kind of stuff instead. I kind of just assumed there'd be wood, you know?"

"I guess so," she agreed as she rummaged around in her dusty pack.

"I must've gotten it from Kensuke. I went camping with him once, kind of on accident."

She pulled out a very crushed-looking bag of chips. "Why?"

"It was before you got here. After the fourth Angel I decided that I didn't want to pilot, but I was stupid and just ran away one rainy day. I found Kensuke out in the rice paddies in the mountains outside the city and spent the night in his tent with him. That was the only time I'd ever gone camping."

She turned around holding the rest of the beef jerky and some rice crackers along with the chips. "This'll just have to do for now," she informed him. "You didn't really do much of anything when you were little, did you?"

"I guess not. I just went to school…and played my cello."

She had already broken into the food, and, judging by her pace, was more than just a little hungry. "So that's why you're so good," she commented through a mouthful.

"I'm not that great."

"You're pretty damn good compared to the average kid your age who decided to learn the cello. That's what happens when you start at something when you're young."

He shrugged, beginning to feel worn out from all the walking and the heat, despite the wind. Shinji put a mixed little pile of food out for Panda and the dog was anything but ungrateful. He wouldn't let the poor boy eat until he'd gotten the message across, mostly through nudging and a few licks, that he'd enjoyed his dinner. 

"You should've had a dog too. Geez…you must've been such a deprived child," Asuka remarked.

"I could've had anything I wanted," Shinji told her as he gave the dog one last pat on the side, "But I never thought to ask."

"You were just that content with your sand castle?"

"Only because no one ever told me about surfing until I came here."

And it was true. Shinji had learned about much more than secret government agencies and giant robots when he came to Tokyo-3. He'd learned about things he never thought existed. He learned about a world outside his own…the sounds beyond the headphones. People, places, objects, activities...it was all new to him, like he'd been living locked in a proverbial closet of his own making all his life. Now those things had disappeared just as they'd come into view and he reached out for them. It was something akin to trying to walk to the horizon or the end of a rainbow. It simply didn't exist, no matter how fast you ran, but you could always see it. Now the rainbow was forever gone and night had made the whole world so black that no horizon could be seen. Shinji probably wouldn't get to experience all the things he'd missed, but at least he could laugh about it.

Asuka laughed with him. "Now that's something I can't see. Surfer Shinji…hah!"

"Heh…Oh well…"

They finished their little meal by the time to sun went down and Panda had already made himself a bed in the dust. The wind didn't appear to want to let up as the night came on, but the Children were caught unprepared by the sudden drop in temperature. After all, neither of them had lived in a desert wasteland before…

Asuka sat Indian style, her feet tucked under her legs for warmth. Her arms were inside the shirt, giving up on the minimal warmth offered by its short sleeves. Shinji was thankful for his tennis shoes, but cursed his ignorance once again at not bringing blankets. He'd thought that they'd only be extra weight. So much for eternal summer.

"It's not like we expected this, so quit blaming yourself!" Asuka demanded, but old habits die hard.

Eventually…it got to her. German winters were one thing, when she had a nice warm coat and other such necessities, but a desert night, when one had been sweating while merely standing still in the daylight hours and now sat shivering to death, were ridiculous. As unsorted as her feelings about the boy she'd been left with after the apocalypse, she rigidly got up from her solitary position and crawled over to him. Shinji had been looking up at the sand as it arched over the taller concrete slab in the wind, finding its strange movement interesting, when he suddenly felt her heat and weight leaning on him. 

Asuka shivered as she looked up at him from her position curled up against his side. "Just for the record, this doesn't mean anything except that I am _really cold right now. And if anything ever does mean anything…I'll warn you."_

He almost laughed, but settled for a smirk. "I'll keep my ears open."

"I'm just cold."

"I know…then this doesn't mean anything either. I'm just cold too." He put his arm around her and she flinched at first, her shivering ceasing momentarily so that all her muscles could clench and get ready to fight, but she denied old instincts and accepted the help. At least it was better than nothing. Asuka resolved that, one of these days, she would figure out if anything would ever mean anything. Now was not the time though. She was tired and cold and mostly a mess in more ways than her dusty exterior. She still hadn't gotten over all the she'd seen during the Third Impact…and all that she'd learned. Eva was gone…as was her mother. The only warm arms that she would've gone to had it not come to this were those of her mother, but she'd always thought that she was forever lost. Her timing was cruel…finding her in Eva only as she was taken away. But she was too tired to think of such things…

…So tired that she fell asleep.

~$~$~$~

(Yes…that's my divider. Cross has crosses…Price of Life has dollar signs…I don't think you could do any better…so shut up!)

When she awoke again, it was still night, but a deafening howling ripped through the air and into her ears, making her almost want to scream as she came to consciousness again. Shinji woke with her and his head snapped up to Panda, who scrambled about in front of them, barking and howling with the wind. Their sheltered area had been reduced to almost nothing and deep piles of sand had accumulated where it ended. They were slowly but surely getting buried by the ever-changing sands of the post apocalyptic desert. Shinji slipped away from her quickly to look into the wind. Once he'd cleared the sand from his eyes he shouted to her, since there was no way they could talk normally over the dreadful crying of the winds, "I think it's going to fall over! The sand's piled up on top of it and I probably won't hold too long. We've got to go!"

"In this?!"

"We don't have any other choice!"

If the complex world of the city had limited Shinji's choices, the plain one of sheer survival made his past world look all too easy. 

Asuka nodded and quickly got their precious few belongings together. She threw Shinji his pack and stood, readying herself for the wind. 

Shinji went over to Panda to try to calm the frightened dog down. "Come on, boy. We've gotta go find another place to spend the night," he yelled as soothingly as possible for one to yell and patted the dog's sand-covered fur. The dog settled down for a little while, but then began to bark again, and this time, it wasn't at the wind. The concrete was starting to moan under the weight.

"Shit! Run!" Asuka commanded as she sped off into the sand.

Shinji then resorted to simply pulling the dog by his fur into the right direction as the pain of the overloaded concrete began to sound even louder than the wind. "Come on! Move! Please, boy! Move!"

"Just leave him!" she screamed from behind the veil of now gray sand.

She couldn't see if her plea came to late or not, but only that the concrete, in a horrid imitation of slow motion moaned once more and toppled with and earth-shaking thud onto that which felled it from its defiant position. It took her feet right out from under her and she didn't even know if she flew or not, but it seemed likely, as close as she was. She hit hard and the sand wasn't as soft as she'd wished it to be. The pain didn't matter though. Only one thing did. As soon as she landed, she was up again, pain ignored completely as well as anything and everything else. 

"Shinji? Shinji!? SHINJI!?!" she cried out high above the sandstorm. With the slab now buried, there was no possible way for her to tell were she was, let alone anyone else. She would be lucky to see her hand in front of her voice. She ran frantically in circles, despite the wind, something much greater than stinging sand forming tears in her eyes. "SHINJI!!! Don't leave me! DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME HERE!"

No…he couldn't just go after she'd just found out he was there. He couldn't be taken away as easily as mama was. "SHINJI!" He was all she had left and all she would ever have. "SHINJI!" He told her that he loved her. "SHINJI!!" She wasn't worthy of anyone's love anymore. "SHINJI!!!" She had failed…failed him, humanity, and God himself. "SHINJI!?" He should've just killed her like he meant to. "SHINJI!!?" But he didn't…he offered her the ultimate mercy and the ultimate torture. He let her live, only to let her come to the realization that she needed him as much as he apparently needed her…all too late. "Please d-don't leave me…" 

Asuka fell to her knees in the sand, sobbing. Her timing sucked. He was dead…godammit he was dead! What a mockery of mankind this was…to give them a second chance…yet no chance at all. He was just a child…and she now knew that she cared for him and loved him. No matter what, he was kind and considerate. Even until the end…the end…

…And now she was all alone…

She cried, her tears soaking into the sand that was the very death of any hope she had ever regained. Ashes to ashes…dust to dust.

Eventually her knees wouldn't even hold her anymore and Asuka sank to the ground, wishing for the sand to swallow her up to and erase the last trace of that pathetic thing called humanity from the dead world. Her arms flew out in front of her and it took her a moment, but she soon noticed that there was something warm touching her fingertips. Even as she looked up through the sand and the tears to see, that tiny glimmer of hope flaring once again, she heard barking in the distance. Panda's silhouette could be just barely made of from the moonlit sand as he ran. She reached out frantically and found a hand…a human hand…in the sand, right there in front of her.

She scrambled up to it and furiously began to dig out the rest. Shinji lay there unconscious under the sand and she cried out with joy and distress at the same time as Panda finally reached them, nudging the boy's body. 

"Yes, yes!" she assured the dog, "You found him…we found him! Good boy! Good boy!" She sobbed as she said it, falling on top of Shinji.

Asuka then had to set such things aside and face the facts. She had to get him up. There was no way she could carry the boy, as fit as she was, and with his pack and the sandstorm as factors, the possibility wasn't even existent. "Come on, Shinji," she whispered over and over as she tried in vain to keep the sand off of his face. He wasn't injured that she could see, but he'd probably been very close to the slab when it fell, so he was a lot more likely to get hurt than she was. "Please…please…"

Panda sensed her urgency and kept nudging the boy's side. 

"I'll promise you anything in the world if you'll just get up, Shinji! Wake up please!" she pleaded, holding his head in her hands.

"We've got to go! W-we've got to go…" she lapsed into tears again, logic going to waste by sheer force of nature.

It seemed like she sobbed against his chest forever, the sand a constant threat to a slow and painful end for the three of them. There was nothing she could do…but hope and pray. 

Apparently, God decided that enough was enough…

"A-asuka…?" 

She embraced the confused boy as soon as her name left his lips. "Don't you ever do that again!" she nearly screamed.

"Wha—?"

"Can you walk?"

"I think so."

She wiped the tears from her eyes. "Then…j-just get up. We have to get out of this!"

"Right."

~$~$~$~

She held on tight to his arm as she tried to keep against the wind. It direction now was constantly shifting and one couldn't help but think that they were just moving in circles. Every minute seemed like an hour, now that the adrenaline had worn off a little and the world became physical once again. She hurt all over from the fall and the sand stung many cuts that she couldn't see, only feel. Shinji was worse off, complaining of stomach pain, probably internal injuries, but they couldn't stop. When they saw the mountains again, Asuka thought it was just an illusion at first, but, no matter how many times she blinked, they were still right in front of her. As their fuzzy black shapes grew closer and more defined the wind began to die. Safety was near…

It was morning by the time they found the little crack in-between two rocks at the base of the mountains, just big enough for the three of them. By then, Shinji was leaning on Asuka and she was dragging their packs along, no longer caring if they got filled with sand. They collapsed into the crevice and took what must've been an hour just to breathe. 

"W-why…were you crying so hard?" Shinji asked as he felt the warm black haze of oblivion fall on him again.

"Because…because I love you."

And there ends chapter four. I thought I'd try some action this time instead of boring you to death as usual. I think it's a nice change…but hey, it works. Comments, criticism, and love are all accepted here.

Thanks to pre-readers Lord Deathscythe, Random1377, and ChaosBurnFlame. 

Visit You Wish! Productions at http://www.wbw.envy.nu/entry.html

-Blue Taboo- 


	5. Fantasies

You Wish! Productions presents…

The Price of Life

By: Blue Taboo

Proud member of Darkscribes.org and Evafics.org

Chapter 5- Fantasies

Shinji awoke, confused at the sight of his own white shirt suspended above him, shading him from the sun that crept in-between the two boulders. It only took him to a moment to remember. Third Impact…Asuka…Tokyo-3…Panda…Sandstorm…Pain…"I love you." It seemed like years ago, the day he'd woken up in similar fashion on the beach. Hard to believe it had been just a week. Now, as to how the shirt had gotten there, and what had happened since he'd fallen asleep, he had no idea. He considered getting up, but put the thought aside as soon as the pain returned with a vengence. He'd been injured somehow, and it motivated him to keep still, despite his curiosity. There was no doctor to go to, no one to diagnose his wounds, so it would be in the boy's best interest to just stay put and try not to make it worse than it already was. He merely listened, hoping to hear the sounds of his companions.

It was just a little while before Panda came over to inspect him. The skinny dog sniffed his leg, and then went up to Shinji's face to confirm consciousness. He sniffed some more, tickling the boy's skin with his cold nose and whiskers.

Shinji smiled and slowly lifted an arm to push the dog back, finding that it wasn't his limbs that hurt him. "Good morning, Panda. Where's Asuka?"

The dog sniffed at him a little more, but then obeyed the gentle push he was being given. He barked once, twice, three times and then Shinji heard footsteps. As much as he longed for Asuka's presence, he was still afraid of what she might do or say. He didn't know what to think after what she'd said. She'd been so upset the whole time they fought to escape the storm. Then…then she'd said it was because she loved him. He was so confused, but at the same time very glad, hoping she really did mean it. He hadn't chased her all over the barren earth for nothing. Well, not the entire earth, but they'd gone a long way from that beach, in many respects besides physical distance.

"Well, well," Asuka chimed as she stood over him, "Look who's finally decided to join us? It's afternoon, Shinji. You've got to stop scaring the shit out of me…"

Same old Asuka, in a way at least. He smiled up at her. "Sorry…"

"Didn't I tell you to stop apologizing too? You never listen…Aren't you going to get up?" she asked.

"Um…I would, but I don't want to make it worse than it is…" he told her.

Asuka had obviously been hoping that his complaints would be gone when he woke. "Y-you're still hurting?" she questioned with some concern.

He didn't want to upset her, but it wasn't going to help either of them if he lied. "Yeah, but it's not as bad. I—"

She cut him off with her sudden downward movement. She crouched down by him and started working the buttons of the over-sized shirt he'd been "borrowing" from the apartment above the store.

"What are you doing?!" he demanded, his hands reaching up to stop her.

"I need to see if you have any bruises, idiot. Don't get the wrong idea just because of what I said last night," she instructed and continued to take his shirt off.

"Oh…uh...sor—no…um about last night…?"

She stopped and looked him in the eye. "Let's save that discussion for later, okay? Right now I need to see what the hell you did to yourself."

"Okay…"

She opened his shirt and looked his upper body over. She was correct in her assumption that there were going to be marks. A big red-purple bruise covered the boy's left side, too fresh as of yet to be dark. She winced as she saw it, thinking how painful it must be for him.

Shinji saw the look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"You've got a huge bruise on your side. It's pretty bad, but I think you'll be okay. If you've made it through this long, you couldn't have damaged anything important. Did you land on your side when you got thrown?"

"I don't know. I can't remember." He really couldn't. All he knew was that the slab fell nearly at his feet and then he was in the air. He had no recollection of ever landing.

"You probably broke some ribs too," she sighed and leaned back on her knees. "I'm just glad you're all right. You can't leave me now…"

"I don't plan to."

Both paused for a moment, just looking at each other and hoping it was the truth.

"Good, but I think you can at least get up. Here, I'll help you, so you don't crunch those ribs." Asuka stood, offering him both of her hands.

Almost like an angel taking me up to heaven, Shinji mused.

A real angel. He took her hands and found her to be right yet again. He cried out as he came to his feet. His left side burned with pain, but wasn't so bad when he stood straight up. He let out a long sigh and didn't let go of her hands. She didn't object, but he eventually did let go anyway, as soon as he got his head back.

"I'll live," he told her as the pain subsided.

She smiled back at him. "Just get your shirt back on. I wanna get the hell out of here."

He obeyed her order and started to button his garment back up again. "Where do you want to go?"

"Let's stick to the mountains. It'll be slow, but we don't have to get anywhere in a hurry. Besides," she gestured to the desert below that had nearly killed all of them, "I don't want to go back there again and the mountains go around it."  
  


Shinji nodded. "Good idea."

Panda, who'd been busy exploring the area around the two boulders, came back and looked expectantly up at Shinji.

The boy knew what he wanted. "Asuka, have you fed him yet?"

"Uh…no…"

Shinji laughed. She wasn't used to animals. It had always been his job to take care of Pen Pen anyway. He wondered if maybe the little penguin was out there somewhere, but quickly came back to more important matters. He started for the two backpacks that lay just ahead of him in the dirt.

"No, no," Asuka scolded him and held him back. "You shouldn't be bending over anytime soon. I'll do it."

It was nice, seeing her do something for him, but Shinji wasn't exactly sure as to why he was so happy as he watched Asuka lay the miscellaneous food in front of the grateful dog. There was a kindness in the very gesture that he'd always seen in her without ever really seeing. Even when she made fun of him and hit him, he still believed it was there. After all, she was so much like him…how could she not have the caring…the understanding he did? She knew what it was like to have all kinds of shit rain down on her, so she had to be kind, somewhere. She hated pain too.

It was amazing how simply she made his go away.

~$~$~$~

They gathered together their gear, though Shinji found his pack considerably lighter for some reason, and headed off into the mountains, away from the coast. The terrain was pretty rocky, which made their pace rather slow as man and beast picked their way through the rocks. There were thin patches of vegetation here and there, but no trees. The area had an eerie, open feeling to it, like some great winged predator was tracking them and could swoop down on their unprotected forms at any moment.

Asuka dismissed that thought from her head. They only things that could've done something like that stood testament to their self-destruction in the sea at their backs. She wanted to look back to make sure, out of impulse, but denied herself of it. There was no point.

A question, well, one among many, had been festering at the back of her mind ever since she awoke on the beach. At the thought of the Mass Production Evas she simply asked it, if only for conversation to get her mind off the sky. "When I was fighting the MP Evas, why didn't you ever come?"

"Huh?" The boy was shocked out of his travel daze. Shinji stopped in his tracks and lifted his head. He too had questions, but also those that he would rather not be asked. The policy of this new world was truth, though. As much as it could be painful, he didn't want to destroy it so early.

"You know, the big white things that regenerated themselves and I had no hope of defeating. Why didn't you come and save the day like you always did?"

Shinji sighed as pictures of himself, crying and waiting for death to come without even the slightest thought of action against it filtered into his mind. He had hoped Asuka would save _him. At that time, he hadn't even had the idea that he was worth anything or could help anyone. And besides, "I-I couldn't get to Unit 01. They flooded its cage with bakelite." His voice was a soft monotone, knowing that the screams he heard over the loudspeakers could not be apologized for in anyway he knew of._

Asuka silently started them walking again, her face a mask also of monotony, of nothing. Her disappointment at him couldn't show, not now at least. "Your turn."

"What?"

"I asked you a question about Instrumentality, now you ask me one. It's only fair." She felt guilty for creating the uncomfortable mood, but sooner or later, every question would be asked and answered, even the most difficult ones.

"What was your world like?" he inquired curiously.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, maybe you didn't have one, but I think that everyone did, I don't know why, though. The sea of LCL offered understanding of others and then it offered complete freedom, at least that's what it seemed like. It gave just me a blank space and told me to make it mine. At first, I had no idea what to do, but then," he paused, realizing the horribly fake universe he'd created that seemed like he pulled it right out of a television show. "It was like a dream, a good one, but there are certain things that let you know that a dream is a dream…and then I was on the beach with you."  
  


Asuka was a few feet ahead of him, but still listening. She negotiated a boulder and waited for him to catch up. "I did have one of those, but it didn't last more than an hour. I know what you mean. It was too good to be true."

Shinji warily approached the obstacle and Panda scaled it easily and returned to his place at the girl's side. "So what was it like?"

Asuka noticed his caution and offered the boy a hand to help him over. "I was older, we all were, and NERV had dissolved and the UN gave all of its employees a huge settlement. We were pretty much set for life. Misato was taking us on a trip to, well, somewhere, I don't really remember, but everyone was there…Me, You, Hikari, the other two stooges, even Rei. Everyone, well, they were just too happy…"

"That's how it was in my world too," Shinji confirmed as he dropped down on the other side.

"Isn't it sad that the happiness we felt was what gave away the illusion?"

"Yeah, but worse things could've happened."

"Worse things did happen."

~$~$~$~

_She stood tall and proud, as usual. Asuka Langley Sohryu, the defeater of Angels, the former pilot of Evangelion Unit 02, and now the graduate of her second high school. After NERV was dissolved, she almost stopped going, but decided it was better than going to another college by herself and that it would improve her lacking kanji skills. Now, at 18 years of age, she was just as beautiful as she always was, except even better now that she was taller and even more mature. _

_And she stood with a few of her fellow graduates from Tokyo-3 __Municipal __ __High School __'s class of 2020. Shinji Ikari, former pilot of Unit 01, was now barely recognizable to all those who knew him simply as the wimpy little boy who got shoved into the giant robot. Now he was even taller than her, despite his Asian ancestry, and his once soft and boyish features were beginning to harden, while still maintaining their trademark innocence. He was the better looking of the three stooges, who came as a complete set. Kensuke was still short with curly hair and over-sized glasses, but a promising career in Computer Science awaited him after he took his full-ride scholarship to the University of his choice. Touji had lived up to his title of dumb jock well enough. He'd been the star of the school's basketball team and would go on to making some college very happy, and maybe even a professional team. Hikari, who now sported a shorter haircut and got rid of the pig tails, would be, as always, his own personal fan club. Rei Ayanami, well, one might find it hard to believe, but the truth was that she was an aspiring art student, finding solace and purpose in canvas and oils during her high school career. _

_Misato Katsuragi was now 35, and not even Misato Katsuragi anymore. Misato Kaji was now 35 and the mother of one, but it didn't stop her from unloading her young son upon his father for a week to give her older Children a little vacation as a reward for their graduation. It didn't help that NERV had given her an enormous settlement, as well as all of its employees, so they got to pick any place they wanted. A tour of __Europe __ was planned, with Asuka as the guide for a good portion of it. _

_They all stood in the airport, or rather sat, awaiting a private charter jet to meet them at the gate. Touji and Hikari were chatting sweetly about this and that, quickly becoming the envy of every single being in the airport. Kensuke was showing off some 3D renderings he'd done on his laptop to a curious Rei. Misato was busy making some last minute plans, which left Asuka and Shinji with only each other for conversation. _

_"So German food is really that good, huh?" he asked in response to her recent ravings about it and how she would be glad to eat decent food again. _

_"Of course! Trust me, Shinji, if you have any interest in being a good cook, you have to take advice from the professionals, and __Germany __ is where it's at when it comes to food." Her voice had grown away from, if only slightly, its once high pitch and into a more womanly tambour. It suited her better, now that her attitude had also lessened a little, but it still remained, just like the octave high jumps she could achieve in her voice to get her message across. _

_"What about the other countries we're visiting? I mean, __France __ is supposed to produce great chefs. You're always hearing about French chefs…" Shinji's once unsure and boyish voice had also deepened, but that was expected of a teenage boy. Luckily for his social life, he didn't develop a deep and threatening boom like his father, but rather a calming baritone. It also matched his change of attitude, now more easy-going than paranoid and submissive. He had many friends now, but still kept his group of close friends from the Angel Wars around him. He was always willing to go out and do new things, see new places, and things like that. Shinji was often said to make the excuse that he was making up for his sheltered early years. His life had gone far from just simply 'existing' now. _

_"Well, yeah, but each country is different. I think __Germany __ has the best food, but a lot of people like French food. Hell, a lot of people adore Japanese food! I don't hate it, but I don't think it's the greatest thing ever." _

_He leaned his elbows up against the carryon bag that sat on his lap, propping his chin up on his hands. His eyes were only on her, but it wouldn't be the first time Shinji had looked at Asuka in that way. Their relationship was a strange one, to say the least. She knew that he liked her, a lot, and she was known to even occasionally reciprocate his feelings for her. They had never officially 'gone out' in their years of knowing each other, but they still lived together, under the watchful eye of Misato and Ryouji, who was still called Kaji, even though there were two other Kajis in the residence. The cramped apartment that had once been called home by Misato and the Children had long since been given up for a more spacious suburban house after Shinji aided Asuka in the quick defeat of the 17th Angel. _

_The former Major had seen them embracing and even kissing a fair share of isolated times, but nothing had ever really developed in the public eye. As outgoing as Shinji had become in light of his former self, and as gregarious as Asuka always was, Misato suspected that the two teens were shy, even scared of a serious relationship, and had avoided one. Misato was personally hoping the trip would do some good for that situation, thinking that Asuka and Shinji could really hit it off when they were away from the pressures and worries of home. _

_It was actually their first real break. After NERV had been deemed unnecessary by the UN and the Evangelions put into long-term cryostasis, there had been certain restrictions on former personnel. They couldn't leave __Japan __ for the first year, so they could all be cleared of any involvement with the various conspiracies that popped up after the Angel Wars, one of which had put Gendo Ikari in jail for a good many years. Then the media began to jump on them, all of them, requesting any information they could give. With that, and school, and preparing for college, the young people who were once subjected to piloting the beasts known only as Eva had been busy over the past four years. _

_Asuka was excited for the trip, thinking also on Misato's wavelength that it would give her a chance to spend more time with Shinji and show him the land she lived in for the better part of her life. She enjoyed spending time with the boy, that she knew for a fact. They had grown close over the years, becoming very good friends and having…moments…at which one would question the exact nature of their friendship. Neither had gone out with anyone in high school. There had been dates, and many of them, but none had gone to a point where either was part of a couple. Everyone suspected, even the two lovebirds themselves, but no one had really acted. _

_That was what Asuka had hoped to do, act. _

~$~$~$~

"What are you thinking about?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing…"

"It's got to be something. I've been trying to talk to you for a few minutes now…"

"I'll tell you when you're older."

~$~$~$~

Their walking was not filled entirely with silence. They chatted idly about things, memories of what they used to do back when the world was whole, and played a game that was becoming more of a ritual than anything else. Shinji threw the ball. Panda brought it back. Asuka threw the ball. Panda brought it back and the cycle started all over again. Midday came and went, without lunch. The Children decided to conserve what food they had left for a larger evening meal, but not because they particularly wanted to. They were both tired and hungry…and supplies that they had misjudged on were in short order.

However, when the sun began to set in the west, luck was found silhouetted against the red sky of sunset. A small mountain village with no more than five streets total was waiting to meet them, surprisingly intact, for the most part, despite its closeness to Tokyo-3.

"The first thing I want," Asuka proclaimed as they nearly ran through the debris blocking the road into the little town, "Is a hot meal and then I need a bath, I don't care if it's hot or cold of if I have to dredge it up from some well."

"Isn't it funny how much we appreciate…everything now?" Shinji mused.

"Yeah, but I still want a hot meal, and that's your job."

Asuka got her hot meal, even if it was over a charcoal grill they'd found tipped over on someone's porch. No meat they'd found was edible, but a few garden vegetables that demanded picking, along with some rice and other various items from the town's tiny grocery store were better than anything either of them had eaten in a more than a week, which still seemed like years. They talked and laughed, though carefully avoiding the topic of words said between them on certain separate occasions. That day was simply not suitable for such talk. The town ran on a system of wells, and after much searching, they found a house whose plumbing was still in semi-working order. The water ran slow and cold and didn't even run long enough to fill the tub, but Asuka got her bath. Shinji settled for water pumped from an old-fashioned contraption he messed around with. Better just to let her have what she wanted undisturbed, he figured.

Beds were found, in the same house, but two this time, in two different rooms. As he'd predicted, Asuka went into hers and shut the door, at least bidding him good night, and he was left to his own accord. Suddenly, he missed the constant contact he'd had with her for the days since he'd caught up with her. Panda was still there, at his side, but now looking just as weary as the boy, his belly full and his heart content. Shinji, on the other hand, did have a full stomach, but now felt an emptiness tugging at him.

"I guess…I'll see you in the morning…"

Maybe he shouldn't hope for too much, but she did say those words.

Maybe they should've talked about it…

~$~$~$~

_"Hey Shinji!" Asuka exclaimed as she shook him awake. _

_"Wha-what?" he responded sleepily. _

_"Look!" she demanded, pointing out the window. _

_He cautiously leaned over her, hoping that he wouldn't anger her off in doing so, but found her only smiling, awaiting his comments on what lay below them as they soared over Europe in the small jet. He looked down, finding a distant city below him. _

_"It's just a city," he reported pointlessly. _

_"It's not just a city," Asuka corrected, pride welling up in her voice, "It's __Berlin __ and I'm going to show you the whole damn thing if I can." _

~$~$~$~

Such fantasies…

But they mirrored reality in one fact: the slow pace at which things now happened. Eva made the days fly by. Water ran. Microwaves cooked food. Cars, trains, airplanes, you name it and it got you anywhere you wanted to go much faster than your feet ever could. Hatred was so easy…

Love, well, it only seemed easy…

But such is the price of life, or the new life that had been given to the last of the Angels.

Humanity awakened, day by day, person by person, from their fantasies and left the sea…

But how were they to know that anyone else had done so?

Instrumentality could have filled the gaps of loneliness they felt, but it had been rejected…

And, now, they would have to learn how to love again.

Thank you to my pre-readers Random1377, Lord Deathscythe, Shinagami, and Karina Kineshi. Sorry Coe and Wes, but you're too slow. 

Also thank you to my readers. I'm not dead…I just had writer's block! But I'm back now and Cross 14 should hit the stands soon, hopefully. Sorry about the delay and all, but that's just how it goes. I've been preparing a re-design on my website (http://www.wbw.envy.nu/entry.html) which I plan to put up by the 30th of August, again, hopefully. It all depends on certain writings getting finished by a bunch of lazy people.

- Blue Taboo -

Oh yeah, and just in case you're wondering, this isn't the end. It's the end of a phase of PoL, which happens every five chapters. Don't worry about this ending anytime soon, because it's gonna be a long one…


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